Monday, May 11, 2015

The Risk

Ever been afraid to verbalize things God has shared with you, revealed to you, or been whispering to you because of the risk it poses? The risk of being told you're a fanatic. The risk of being told you're crazy. The risk of being told you're conceded. The risk of being abandoned, criticized, abused in some way, or endangering yourself and/or your family. We all come from different backgrounds and different risks... I'm sure one or more of these apply to anyone who is reading this.
I have always felt that way. Ever since I was a child I felt like I was a modern day Joan of Arc, hearing the audible voice of God (and also through dreams and visions) speaking to me throughout my short life. I didn't tell people about it much. He has revealed things to me through dreams and visions that I only shared with people I felt I could trust not to find me absolutely crazy. Now I find myself being shown things in this world that would definitely cause people to call me a fanatic, but I know for sure it isn't fanaticism. I have been extremely careful to keep myself away from things that could desensitize me to serious spiritual awareness (and because I don't need to see horror flicks, my nightmares give me plenty of "entertainment" in that area to feed everyone who thrives on it). Even I have heard some seriously far fetched claims as far as entertainment (movies, music, tv) that just makes me frustrated and want to smack some "Christians" for making it harder on those of us who really have a legitimate warning or understanding in how things are working.
But the question is this, what sort of risk is our silence causing? Is the risk that we are taking to stay quiet worth it? What is our fear that silences us doing to our spiritual life?

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Reflecting on 2014

Last year my word was Provider. God spoke to me and said He was going to show us, show me, that He is Jehovah Jireh. I learned tonight that although I had been seeing the ways He provided for our needs I missed the biggest way He provided for me this year. 2014 was full of stress, challenges and heartache... all of which taught me something but within the darkest, hardest times God shed His gracious light on my life. I saw this blessing throughout the year but I didn't see it quite as clearly until just now.

God doesn't just provide for our physical and financial needs, He provides for our Spiritual needs as well. The Lord knew what I would face when the year started and He started planting the seeds of my provision before the year began. I have had the pleasure of "meeting" some amazing people online through Instagram. One of the remarkable women I have met started a group called Heart 4 Hearts and asked me if I'd like to join. It's a smallish ministry of women who build each other up and encourage each other through all life throws at them and work to be the hands and feet of Jesus when they see a need that can be met. Before I became part of this group I was a hot mess of not feeling like I fit in anywhere, I felt far from God and I was incredibly lonely which made me pretty depressed.... now, mind you, I am STILL a hot mess but I have a spiritual support team now that I didn't feel I had before. These women are remarkable. They are not perfect. They are not super Christians who never mess up.... they are raw, real and flawed and that's what makes them REMARKABLE. There is no fear in sharing our struggles or being judged by what we share... just pure genuine love and support. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. God knew where I was spiritually at the beginning of 2014 and He also knew that near the end of 2014 I would face some of the hardest news and losses that I would not have survived in the spiritual state I was in if He had not made the moves He did in my life at the time. I am SO thankful for my h4h sisters. I am thankful for a God who cares enough for me to pull me out of my funk and get me set back on the right path.

My word for 2015 is ROOTED. I'm excited about this word this year as I feel it is tied in with my word from last year. He provided a Spiritual  group of sisters to plant me back where I needed to be and this year He's going to teach me how to re-root myself into His word and into Him in a way I never was. He is going to root me in ways I know I can't even see or fathom at this time but I know this year I'm going to be more intentional in seeking out being rooted. I am excited about 2015 in whatever it holds and I am deeply thankful for the amazing women of God who have come into my life through Instagram... both in my h4h group AND those He has brought into my life outside of that group.